mamerblog

so i guess all i can talk about are chipmunks

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:49:20 -0500

Earlier today I saw a chipmunk enter my tent. I haven’t seen it exit yet.

a tale of two chipmunks

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:25:59 -0500

My friend NOLA and I made up a story for our campers this week. It started with “There once was a chipmunk named Lloyd. He had a friend named Carissa.” For the past two nights my co-counselors and I have been expanding on the adventures of Lloyd and Carissa. They went chipmunk canoeing, were dropped in a lake by some owls, and also decided to start a self-sufficient commune. They found some purple grass, discovered that eating the grass makes their hair fall out and grow back purple, then started a Purple Chipmunk Rock Band. Every time we see chipmunks throughout camp, we shout, “LOOK! It’s Lloyd and Carissa!!!” I love it.

mara being cool

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:45:23 -0500

While browsing my old computer’s pictures, I found a folder titled “Marabeingcool”. It was full of photos primarily of me, all of them in which I looked especially awesome or attractive. I don’t remember doing this, but at some point last year I must have browsed through all of my photos and made this extraordinarily vain compilation. And you know that makes me cool.

expose yourself!

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 10:46:00 -0500

My heart almost stopped beating last week. I was sitting around the campfire at Devil’s Lake with my friends Kathleen and Deanie. While Kathleen was telling a story, I heard a person walking around in the tall grass next to our campsite. I knew Deanie could hear it too because we kept switching between freaked-out eye contact with each other and staring intently into the tall grass. At the same time, we raised our hands as a quiet symbol. Deanie grabbed the lantern and I tried to look for our would-be murderer. Then I started talking to our culprit. “Hello. Hey. Stop that. Expose yourself!” Because the three of us have the minds of twelve year old boys, we all started giggling at the mention of “exposing.” I corrected myself. “No, not that way! Reveal yourself!” And reveal himself he did - as a large raccoon who ran across our campsite.

My dog has gotten really fat. My parents feed him so much food. He gets a hotdog a day because its...

Sun, 25 May 2008 12:28:15 -0500

My dog has gotten really fat. My parents feed him so much food. He gets a hotdog a day because its the only way to get him to take his pills. . My dog needs pills - one for his allergies and one for his arthritis. Sometimes I forget that he’s a dog.

the hives

Mon, 19 May 2008 01:48:58 -0500

I just got back from The Hives concert and I’m all hopped up on excitement and good feelings. My friend Eric got me a ticket at the last minute. I’ve heard so much about how The Hives put on a really great live show, but I had no idea how great that really meant. The singer Pelle Almqvist must be one of the best frontmen ever.

I want to move to Sweden now.

i hate the magazine hoarder

Fri, 16 May 2008 23:23:40 -0500

When eating a meal by yourself in the cafeteria, it’s really nice if you have a quality magazine to read. I’m lucky that my dining hall subscribes to a decent amount of very diverse magazines. I read Newsweek, Time Magazine, The New Yorker, The Economist, Wired, The Nation, Rolling Stone, The Advocate, Ebony, Esquire, and Men’s Journal on a weekly to monthly basis. Recently I was flying solo in the cafeteria for lunch and was looking forward to the newest issue of Newsweek. Sadly, I couldn’t find it on the magazine rack. No other new or decent magazines were available. It was frustrating. Where could they have been? While on the walk back to my booth, I discovered exactly where all of those periodicals were hiding. I saw a girl reading the Newsweek I wanted, which by itself is perfectly acceptable, but then saw the stack of magazines next to her. Unacceptable! Stupid magazine hoarder.

Why did I just find out about this now?! Apparently my roommate...

Thu, 15 May 2008 22:33:00 -0500

Why did I just find out about this now?! Apparently my roommate Teague has been hiding this LARGE photo of herself that she accidentally printed out nine months ago.

marco: Does anyone honestly believe that if Hillary Clinton was Barack Obama’s VP, he’d survive...

Tue, 13 May 2008 18:06:53 -0500

marco:

Does anyone honestly believe that if Hillary Clinton was Barack Obama’s VP, he’d survive even one year as President?

“Oh, that’s too bad. Well, I guess I’m President now, like I deserve.”

Dear girl in the common room, When I said that I didn’t mind you watching TV while I studied,...

Mon, 12 May 2008 23:12:00 -0500

Dear girl in the common room,

When I said that I didn’t mind you watching TV while I studied, I did not give you permission to audibly laugh for all thirty minutes of the Colbert Report.

nerdy statement of the day:

Mon, 12 May 2008 21:19:00 -0500

I wish I could Ctrl-F my class notes.

did i really just get interrogated by a police officer? really??!!

Sat, 10 May 2008 00:03:36 -0500

Police officer: Excuse me, were you the cashier on duty during the incident about an hour ago?
Me (mopping the cafeteria floor): Oh yeah. Ha ha. The "incident."
Officer: Can you tell me what happened?
Me: A group of boys stood up, shouted "What the f*** is going on?!", scattered, and started fake shooting at each other. They were "shooting" and rolling and crouching and diving and ducking and "getting hit" until they all "died." Then they all got up and went away. The whole thing lasted a minute and a half tops.
Officer: What was your reaction?
Me: I thought it was kind of funny.
Officer: What about other people?
Me: There were about five people in line, and they all seemed to enjoy it while I was ringing them up.
Officer: Was anyone scared?
Me: No.
Officer: Do you think anyone might have feared for their lives?
Me: No.
Officer: Could anyone have mistaken it for an actual shooting?
Me: Ha ha. No.
Officer: Thanks for your time.
********** Four hours later **************
Me (reading "community update" email): Did they seriously take seven people into custody? Ridiculous.

I am a food service slave.

Thu, 08 May 2008 23:15:00 -0500

Or at least that’s what I call my job at my dorm’s dining hall. As horrible as this might sound, my favorite duty at the cafeteria is the actual flipping of burgers. Most of the positions are mindless - you’ll find yourself swiping ID cards, dishing out pasta, or feeding a stack of dirty trays into the dishwasher. Flipping burgers is one of the only opportunities for students to participate in the actual preparation of food.

When I’m grilling, I have some control. There is room for autonomy and relatively independent thought. It’s up to me whether your burger is charred or tender, whether your chicken is dry or juicy, and whether your Boca Burger is truly meat-free or contaminated by a beefy spatula.

I can make or break your dining experience.

Maybe I’m not such a “slave” after all (plus the pay is incredible for a zero-skill starting wage with flexible hours).

Who wouldn’t want the Jitterbug?

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:15:00 -0500

Who wouldn’t want the Jitterbug?

I love advertisements in The Nation.

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:13:22 -0500

I love advertisements in The Nation.

This will prove only beneficial to me since I’m...

Tue, 06 May 2008 12:12:00 -0500

This will prove only beneficial to me since I’m involuntarily drawn to these types.

(Found on the community bulletin board in my dorm. I’m also addicted to Googling and just found this related Craigslist post.)

"Right Hand Rule" with cross products of vectors

Mon, 05 May 2008 13:55:00 -0500

Me: (while staring at hand) I don't get the "right hand" part about it.
Elise: That's your left hand.
Me: Oh.

I made this after Teague and I watched THIS VIDEO way too many...

Mon, 05 May 2008 00:12:15 -0500

I made this after Teague and I watched THIS VIDEO way too many times.

p.s. More than once is considered way too many times.

Finally going camping. Couldn’t be more excited. p.s....

Sun, 04 May 2008 19:26:00 -0500

Finally going camping. Couldn’t be more excited.

p.s. This screenshot is “censored” because my mom called me in a very worried tone and told me I had to remove this post. She doesn’t want creepers hunting me down while I’m camping.

Dear Roommate,

Fri, 02 May 2008 23:51:31 -0500

I’m sorry that my bed is lofted so high that you can’t tell whether I’m in it or not. Tonight I returned to my room after a shower and found you stealthily tiptoeing around in the dark trying not to “wake” me.